Don’t let them kid you. Roasted kale with Sea Salt isn’t good. It’s not even not bad, but rather it’s just a baked leaf sprinkled with some sea salt. But in 19 days I will be naked on a beach in Mexico and right now I am starving my body in order to drop 7-10 pounds from my stomach. I sound vain. Well, I am vain. But here’s the deal…
When I feel better about myself, I am happier. Ok, not a novel concept, however, it is one that I often forget. I like feeling good about myself. I like looking in the mirror at 44 and thinking, not too bad… in fact, pretty damn good”. I sleep better, I make love to my wife better, I am overall…better when I feel good about myself physically.
So I am eating right and working out. Eating right for right now is a VERY low cab intake and as high of a protein as my body can stand. I need to eat a shit-ton though if protein in order to really make a difference. Oh, and the Keto. The magical mystery powder that helps my body burn fat. So no carbs for me. Just protein and a bit of fat. Crazy I know.
Come to find out, there are literally carbs in everything except water (an exaggeration for sure). But seriously, it’s crazy how many carbs are everywhere. But enough about those amazing breads and pastas and ice cream and chips and…. nevermind.
How am I?
I’m good I guess. I had a great weekend with my wife and we chilled and laughed and made love and… well, it was what a weekend should be. I feel settled. I feel anxious for little reasons (her mom, Alex (always), time slipping away, the front and back yard falling into the creek), but overall I feel settled. It’s been 7 1/2 years since meeting my wife and I couldn’t be happier with what we have built and where we have gone together in our lives and relationship. She truly is my best friend and has put up with SO MUCH of my drama that I’ll never know how to give back what she’s given. So I feel settled and I think after 7 1/2 years, the fear of her leaving me is starting to fade.
As we made love the other night and role played a little, she “took care of me” in a nurturing, but also very sexual way. It was a major turn on and left me feeling so fulfilled. It was crazy. I have that longing to be taken care of. Not financially and not because I can’t take care of myself because I absolutely can, but rather because someone is doing so out of love and care instead of obligation and duty.
I think growing up, that’s what I must have felt like. An obligation. That doesn’t feel good.
I want to be taken care of. I like that. I also like to take care of her. This extends WELL beyond the bedroom. This extends into all areas of our lives together, not just the bedroom. So…I guess what I am saying today is that when I feel good about myself, I am in a good place. When I am in a good place, I can think clearly about what I need emotionally, spiritually, and physically and feel good enough to share with myself and the love of my life. When that happens, I am giving her my best self. Hence…
A better me… a better you.